September is Suicide Prevention Month.

Every year we talk about awareness, about reaching out, about asking someone if they are okay. All of that matters.

But this year I want to talk about something else:

The people who are left behind.

When someone dies this way, the pain does not end with their death. It changes shape and moves into the lives of the people who loved them.

You are left with questions that may never have answers: Why, what happened, did they try to tell me, could I have done something.

The mind keeps searching because not knowing is unbearable.

Some days you blame yourself; some days you are angry; some days you understand nothing.

I have spent years trying to find the missing piece, trying to make sense of something that may never have been mine to fully understand.

I am slowly learning that I may not need to.

Some questions stay questions. Some stories never resolve. Healing is not always about finding the reason. Sometimes it is learning to live without one.

This September, I want us to also ask the survivors how they are. Not only in the weeks after the loss, but months and years later.

Grief does not have an expiry date. There is room for anger, guilt, confusion, and even relief, all without judgement.

Let people say I still don’t understand. I still miss them. I’m angry. I feel guilty. I don’t know how to talk about this!

And let’s stop expecting survivors to make something beautiful out of an unbearable loss.